Build Your Self First Before You Argue With It

If you a reader of mine, you’ve heard me say that “not all craving control strategies are created equal.”  I still stand by that.  But here’s  a related thought.  The less potent strategies (such as self-talk) can be leveraged in utility as your sense of self crystallizes in time.

Here’s what I mean.  Some of us have not yet developed a particularly firm sense of self: the self-structure is a little fuzzy so to say, not enough informational-conceptual ego.   If you are getting easily flooded with emotions, if you happen to recognize yourself in the Borderline Personality Disorder diagnostic criteria, such craving control strategies as self-talk are a bit premature.  To put it bluntly, you just don’t have a firm enough self to argue with yourself (because that’s what self-talk is, a kind of inner dialogue, a tug-of-war between the wise mind and the not-so-wise mind).  Self-talk is a bit too destabilizing, defragmenting for a self that is not neurotic enough to argue with itself.

If you are recognizing yourself in this, then mindfulness-based craving control is a better option.  Mindfulness-based craving control allows you to build the very self that is required for self-talk.  Say, you are craving ice-cream.  Instead of arguing with yourself, you simply notice the sensation and just as you notice the sensation, you inadvertently notice yourself noticing it.  This is the process of differentiation, or identity-building, or structure-building.  When you notice yourself being separate from your emotions (and craving is just a state of desire), you are actually actively engaging in the process of self-construction.  You are building a firmer, more conceptual sense of self.  

With this in mind, mindfulness-based craving control is a form of self-work, a process that firms up your sense of self.  So, by witnessing a craving come and go, you are also getting to see the self that triumphantly remains intact.  As this sense of self firms up in time, self-talk craving control strategies become a plausible option.  But not until…

In sum: self is a prerequisite for self-talk craving control.  So, build your (neurotic) self (ego) first before you start arguing with it or try to transcend it.

Resources:

Mindful Eating Tracker

Craving Control Training

Escheriada

An Escher’s stair-case
breathing,
up and down with steps,
ushers in
confusion
of directionless circularity:
Your ego-totem’s upside down.

The point of your “i”
is not the dot
but the endless line.

Get
the stopgap of your Mind
out of your infinite Way.

(this is a 2004 (?) train-of-thought critically repaired yesterday... pardon the delay)

from totem of tautology: from a sense of "i" to a sense of awe!

Avatar of Self

Context:

Avatar is a Hindu term that originally means an appearance, a manifestation of a deity in a visible form, an embodiment of the ideal.

Philosophically, the term Avatar could be understood as synonymous with Form (form-based manifestation of Essence).

Psychologically, the term Avatar, in my opinion, is interchangeable with the concept of Self (as in "public self" or "persona" that we project into the world as a manifestation of what/who we internally are; or as our own, inner "self-view," an in-house informational representation of ourselves to ourselves, a "self-schema").

Now, my point of the moment:

1.

Let me ask you something.

While living this very life, would you - as if in some kind of virtual reality - like to be an Avatar?

2.

The question above is rhetorical:

If you think of yourself as some kind of self-form, you already are your own manifestation.

3.

The real, non-rhetorical question is: what is this essence that you are representing right now with such words as "I" and "me?" Who is this who is reading this and thinking "I am?" What is this essence that keeps confusing itself with its informational avatar of self-narrative?