Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda, Buddha

Turn rumination into acceptance.  Upgrade your perfectionistic “shoulda, coulda, woulda” mantra with the word “buddha.” The word “buddha” means “awakened, enlightened” in Pali.  Use this term in its lower-case connotation as a symbol of acceptance and appreciation of the natural perfection of what is.  When you find yourself ruminating on some past imperfection, toss in a little bit of “buddha” into your self-talk.  Recognize that whatever you did, you did your best, and that even if that is not enough for others, it is enough for you.  What else could’ve you done, be better than you were at that moment in time?  Wake up to the impossibility of that!  Shoulda, coulda, woulda, buddha.  End of story.

excerpt from Present Pefect: a Mindfulness Approach to Letting Go of Perfectionism and the Need to Control (New Harbinger, June 3, 2010)

Resources:

Self-Acceptance Manifesto: a Proclamation of Psychological Independence