We have been taught to chase the unattainable: to be more than what we are at any given point in time. We are a culture of idealistically naive strivers unable to be content with what is if only for a moment. This absurdly unrealistic goal (to be more than what we are at any given point in time) comes with the high cost of psychological dependence. Feeling chronically imperfect, we sell out for reassurance, validation and approval. Feeling chronically incomplete, we compete in consumption and stuff ourselves beyond measure.

This chronic deficit of self-acceptance becomes a matter of national deficit and undermines the socio-political independence of our society. Long-term sovereignty of a nation rests with psychological independence of its constituents. A nation of psychologically insecure denizens is at war with itself, and is, thus, divided.

On this 4th of July, 2010, and onward, I encourage you to proclaim your psychological independence - from a hollowing-out and incessant desire for more. Your individual psychological health is part of our collective wealth. Self-help, self-care, self-awareness and self-acceptance are patriotic. Stop waging war on yourself: you are doing your best, nonstop, all the time. On some level you know it. Make it official. And as soon as we do, as a nation, we will shift the paradigm from conspicuous consumption of goods and calories to the era of conspicuous compassion and moderation.

Proclamation of Psychological Independence

1.

We confuse perfection with imperfection

But there is no difference

Unless, of course, you compare what is with what isn't.

2.

If (at this very moment) I could be better, worse or other than what I am right now

I wouldn't be myself.

But I am, perfectly imperfect.

3.

It is always like that, not just during this now

But at any now that you are alive.

Present is perfect.

Proclamation of Psychological Independence Explained:

1.

We confuse perfection with imperfection but there is no difference (between these two) unless, of course, you compare what is with what isn't.

Explanation: what's real is real, what's not is not. Here's a brief inventory of what exists on this planet at any given point in time: the planet, of course; the animal kingdom; and you (the humankind) with its fantasies of what still could be. My point is this: there is no other reality at any given point in time aside from the one that actually is. We can now envision and imagine a theoretically better world and we can compare it to the real world that exists and we can say: "I don't want this actual world, I want that theoretical world." Suffering is borne out of this very comparison: the ideal always beats the pants off the real. In any comparison of what is with what isn't, in any comparison of reality to fiction, fiction always looks prettier. So, as we envision what still could be, we ignore what still is. But here's the existential glitch: there is only what there is at any given point in time. If we don't know how to be content with what is, we are stuck chasing the tail of desire, constantly optimizing, supersizing, perfecting. Bottom-line is this: perfection is a state that is beyond improvement; reality is the best that it can be at any given point in time (even if it had been better at some point in the past or if it can be still perfected at some point in the future); if so, then whatever is, at any given point in time, is the best that it can be, i.e. perfect. If this momentary reality (the one and only we have at any point in time) is perfect, then it is only not enough when we compare it with what isn't (i.e. our idealistic and naïve visions of still could be).

2.

If I could be this very moment better, worse or other than what I am right now I wouldn't be myself. But I am, perfectly imperfect.

Explanation: At any given point in time, you are what you are. That is self-evident. What this means is that at any given point in time (like right now) you are not less, not more, but exactly what you are, i.e. all you can be (right now). If you were in any way different right now, you wouldn't be you, but you are you, exactly as you are. What this means is that right now you are the best that you can be. Why? Because you cannot be any better right now. Sure you can be better at a later point in time, but we are talking about this moment, the one and only moment that there is, in which you are exactly what you are, not worse, not better, but just you. Doing the best that you can (at any given point in time) = being the best that you can (at any given point in time). I see this as inevitable perfection. You have arrived in this moment, perfectly imperfect, with nothing amiss and fully realized. Self-realization isn't when you are more than you can be at any given point in time; self-realization is when you realize that you are this real you, not the perfectionistic figment of imagination of what you should be right now. Understand this in your bones: you are what you are and that's enough. Accept your inevitable perfection at this moment and perfect the future if you still so desire. Self-acceptance isn't the end of striving (no, you can still strive, just without that overcompensating urgency and rushed desperation) but a beginning of psychological independence.

3.

It is always like that, not just during this now but at any now that you are alive. Present is perfect.

Explanation: You are doing the best that you can and, therefore, being the best that you can be, not just now, but always. Sure it might not seem so when you compare you to not-you (i.e. to some theoretical you that never exists or to others who are, by definition, not like you). But if you compare you to you, as you are, then you are always doing the best that you can do and, therefore, being the best that you can be, non-stop, without fail. Think this through until this becomes self-evident: there is no past right now nor is there any future in this moment, there is only this, this moment, this now, and it's always like that. You are always in some kind of now, in which you are only what you are, not more, not less, but just enough. Reality does not short-change us: there is no celestial lay-away in which the reality is withholding better versions of itself until a later time. Right now, which is always, there is only this, this moment, however it is, not less, not more, such as it is, perfectly imperfect. Look around for a moment: everything is what it is, if a door is half-ajar, it is half-ajar, if it is closed, it is closed, if it is open, it is open; if the sky is azure blue, then it is, if, however, it is overcast, then it is overcast. And so are you - in this moment, which is always, - all you can be, perfectly imperfect. Accept this ordinary, self-evident perfection of what you are in this moment and, if you still need to, perfect the future. Savor the new unhurried calmness of this continued self-optimization: when perfecting yourself from the platform of self-acceptance, you take your time living.

From Conspicuous Consumption to Conspicuous Compassion

Am I oversimplifying? Hell, yeah! My mind is still green (and I do hope it stays this way) but it does (fortuitously) know that the greener pasture on the other side of the hill is just an optical illusion, just the Jungian shadow of our insatiable, culturally-kindled appetite for more. I'll be writing and talking about all this jazz of self-acceptance and inevitable perfection as long as I breathe. My motive has nothing to do with altruism but self-preservation. You see, the world of self-rejection is a merciless jungle. If I can help you accept yourself, my guess is that you'll be kinder to others, which, in turn, will translate into a hopefully less hostile world all around. Self-acceptance means psychological independence, i.e. a world in which people mostly mind their own business, meeting their psychological needs in-house, without psychological blackmail or relational warfare, without surface-deep resource-intense contests of egos and psychological careerism. When we realize that we are doing the best that we can and being the best that we can, at any given point in time, eventually it dawns on us that everyone's like that and that, my fellow mind, becomes a platform for forgiveness and compassion. When you stop attacking yourself you automatically call a truce on the world at large. It is for this and only this reason that I keep jabbering about self-acceptance: self-acceptance powers compassion and compassion - at the end of the day - is just another form of self-care. On this July 4th and every day onward, be psychologically independent, even if you are in debt otherwise!

Now, somebody, toss me a veggie hot-dog and a couple of sparklers. Time to light up the sky!

1. A state that is so flawless, so immaculate, so error free, so complete that nothing can be added to it to make it better is a state beyond improvement.  That is theoretical perfection.
2. Practical perfection is a state that is beyond improvement not because it is immaculate, flawless, or error free, but because it has been completed and is now fact.
3. Every moment, by virtue of it being already a fact, is complete. Thus, it is also a state of perfection—a state beyond improvement.  This isn’t fantasy.  It is reality at its practical best.
4. You are part of this reality.  You are neither perfect nor imperfect.  “Perfect” and “imperfect” are words.  You are not words.  You are everything you have ever been up to this moment, and no one moment or word can define you in your entirety and complexity.  You are what you are, in your suchness.
5. To believe that what happened should not have happened and that what didn’t happen should have happened is a violation of causality.
6. It is understandable to want only “this” part of reality and not want “that” part of reality, to want “this” part of yourself and not “that” part of yourself.  But while it’s possible to want to divide the indivisible, it’s not actually possible to do so.  Reality is this and that, in its suchness.  Any attempt to cut the indivisible whole in half is a departure from reality.
7. Splitting what is into good/bad, perfect/imperfect, proper/improper, success/failure, and so on creates false dichotomies.  A false dichotomy produces a perception of alternatives to what is.  A belief that the reality does not have to be what it is at any given moment leads to a desire for it to be what it is not.  Constant rejection of what is and a desire for what is not is the essence of perfectionistic suffering.
8. To want what doesn’t exist and not to want what exists, not to want the reality of the “now” that you have, is a formula for existential suicide.   If this reality, as it is in its entirety, is not enough for you, if you feel that you deserve more than this entire universe can summon up at any given moment, then check yourself out in the mirror for a halo around your head. 
9. Acceptance of what is isn’t passivity.  Acceptance of what is means an active engagement in reality.  Accept that whatever exists right now is beyond improvement and therefore as perfect as it can be.  And, if you think you need to, try to change what is yet to be.  As you do so, accept the results of your efforts as the best that you can do.  Repeat this cycle of acceptance and change on an as-needed basis. 
10. I have a notion of a new perfectionism. The old-paradigm perfectionism was an attempt to perfect the imperfect.  The new paradigm: perfecting the perfect.  Everything is the best way it can be at a given moment in time—perfect.  And yet, it can still be better in the next moment.  The present is already perfect. Relax into that idea; your work in this moment is done. Now you can look to the next moment and perfect the future.

Words are the mind’s legs.  They walk you away from what is.  And yet we need them.  So, choose their meaning carefully.  Your well-being depends on it.  Mind is subjective, and so is your experience of reality.  Since subjectivity is but a play on objectivity, you are free to choose what you mean by perfection.  Choose the meaning you like.  For years you’ve been toying with the idea of attaining the unattainable.   For years you have defined perfection as a theoretical best.  Naturally, by these standards, you have always fallen short of what theoretically could be. You’ve put into this game far more than you’ve gotten out.  It’s time to toy with the idea that perfection is not only attainable but that it is inevitable, with the idea that you are always doing your best at any given point in time and that is enough.  Enjoy!

Primary perfectionism is a pursuit of perfection for its own sake, as an end in and of itself. Primary perfectionism is when you want reality to be better than it is because you think it could be or should be better than it is.  In this kind of perfectionism, the pursuit of perfection is the primary goal.  In principle, there’s nothing wrong with striving for a better world.  It’s just that in practice, constant striving for a better world obscures the ordinary perfection of the world that already is. 

Contrast this with secondary perfectionism.  In secondary perfectionism, trying to be perfect is a means to an end, and the pursuit of perfection is secondary to the psychological, relational, and existential dividends of being perfect. 

In short, primary perfectionism is recreational or, if you wish, aesthetic, and mostly optional.  You chase perfection as a kind of existential hobby on the assumption that “what is” is never good enough only because it can always be better.  Secondary perfectionism is neurotically compensatory, it is a form of self-therapy, a defense mechanism.  As such it is compulsive, i.e.  psychological necessitated.  You feel you have to aim for perfection so as to avoid disapproval or to feel special or to stay in control.  Both primary perfectionism and secondary perfectionism rejects reality as imperfect.

If you are a perfectionist, the goal, as I see it, is to, first, shift from secondary perfectionism to primary perfectionism, and, then, if at all possible, to shift from these reality-rejecting worldviews to acceptance-based perfectionism that would allow you to experience perfection without being perfectionistic.

Related articles:

3 Hungers of Perfectionism (on secondary perfectionism)

Acceptance-Based Perfectionism

Ordinary Perfection (mindstream)

Victor Pelevin: “Buddha’s Little Finger” (anatomy of ordinary perfection)

Shifting the Paradigm of Perfectionism

As I see it, perfectionism is a crisis of misunderstanding of the concept of perfection.  As a culture we believe that perfection is unattainable.  If seen as such, the word “perfection” becomes a nonsense word, a word that refers to something imaginary and nothing real, nothing attainable.  I posit just the opposite: the word “perfection” isn’t a nonsense word, it does refer to something real.  Indeed, as I see it, the word “perfection” is synonymous with the word “reality.”  As such, perfection is not only attainable, it is inevitable.

I realize you probably don’t have a clue of what I am talking about.  I realize that the notion that perfection is inevitable sounds psychologically blasphemous and flies in the face of everything you’ve probably heard.  I am well-aware of that and have felt the wind of this conceptual resistance with just about every perfectionist client I have worked with.  I expect you to bristle at this notion.  After all, you’ve been very well-programmed.  So, I am not expecting you – unlike your unrealistic mentors and role models – to be ahead of yourself or to be any more willing to change your perspective than you are.   You are where you are.  That’s enough for me.  I sincerely accept your skepticism.  In fact, I am counting on your skepticism.  After all, skepticism is questioning and questioning is the beginning of rationality.  So, allow me to preview my therapeutic thesis: 

1. I posit that “everything, as (theoretically) imperfect as it may seem, is, in fact, as (practically) perfect as it can be at any given point in time;” this notion helps you begin to recognize the ordinary perfection of here-and-now life and to experience the very perfection that you have been craving; this shift in perspective is designed to help you become more accepting of the world at large and of yourself, without being any less ambitious or productive;

2. Contrary to the traditional cultural emphasis on “the perfection of achievement” I propose a shift to “the perfection of experience” which will, I predict, help you improve (rather than decrease) your productivity and creativity;

3. furthermore, contrary to the all-too-familiar notion that “nobody is perfect,” I posit that “everybody is perfect or, which is the same, perfectly imperfect;”  this is a shift in seeing oneself and others that will help you reduce your chronic self-loathing and help you co-exist with compassion. 

4. Finally, I propose a shift from a paradigm of forgiveness in which we forgive others from a position of moral superiority to a more compassionate, less righteous, more humble paradigm of forgiveness in which we forgive because we identify with (relate to) the transgressor’s motivation and course of action, and we realize that the transgressor, too, has done his/her practical best (even if their best fails our personal and social expectations of what theoretically should be).

Worry not: this paradigm shift will not decay your morality, ambition, work ethic or productivity.  

Old-School Perfectionism versus New-School Perfectionism

My goal is not to take away your perfectionism, but to upgrade it.  As I see it, there is more than one way to strive and there is more than one school of perfectionism.  Old-school perfectionism is rejection-based.  New-school perfectionism is acceptance-based.  Let me explain by contrasting these two ways of thought.

Whereas old-school perfectionism is based on self-rejection, new perfectionism is based on self-acceptance.  Whereas old-school perfectionism desperately rushes to perfect the imperfect, neo-perfectionism takes its time perfecting the perfect. 

Old-school perfectionism is perfectionism of suffering.  New-school perfectionism is about recognizing that you are already living the best life you can live. 

Old-school perfectionism rejects oneself and the world at large.  It starts out from the position that nobody is perfect and that the world sucks.  Therefore, old-style perfectionism is in the constant business of correcting what is wrong.  As such, old-school perfectionism is a maze of frustrating dead-ends. 

New perfectionism starts out from the position of acceptance – of self and of the world at large.  New-school perfectionism begins with the recognition that we are all doing the best that we can at any given point in time.  New-school perfectionism sets out on an open-ended journey of perfecting the perfect while accepting oneself and reality as being  the best that it can be every step of the way.

Whereas old-style perfectionism offers nothing but a frustrating chase of the unattainable, new perfectionism constantly satisfies the seeker with what he/she seeks, providing a reliable fix of inevitable, experiential perfection as well as an ongoing opportunity to continue to perfect the perfect. 

Old-school perfectionism is always future-focused.  An old-school perfectionist has a love-hate relationship with the future.  Future is virgin, still impeccable, still unstained by reality, ever not-yet-ruined.  But old-school perfectionist also sweats and dreads the future because future is always unknown and uncertain and, thus, beyond control. 

New-school perfectionist wastes no time awaiting some hypothetical future perfection: instead he or she experiences the here-and-now ordinary perfection of this one-and-only reality of the present moment and finds it to be reliably enough.  New-school perfectionist does not fear future and does not agonize about future performance outcomes.  After all, what is there to fear when you realize that perfection is inevitable, that you have always done your best, that you are doing your best right now and that you will keep on doing your best in the future?  New-school perfectionist is certain that what holds true at the current now-moment will also hold true at any future now-moment as well. 

New-school perfectionist is certain that reality never short-changes, that reality is never wrong (even if it deviates from our understandably naive expectations about it) and is, thus, courageously at peace with whatever is.  New-school perfectionist is certain that what holds true at the current now-moment will also hold true at any future now-moment as well.  New-school perfectionist gets the self-evident: reality is always at its best, not just now and then, but inevitably.  Reality-accepting perfectionist is, by definition, certain that reality never short-changes, and that reality is never wrong (even if it deviates from our naive expectations about it) and is, thus, at peace with whatever is.  No, not passively surrendered to reality, but wisely accepting of it and focusing on changing what can be changed. 

Time to Upgrade is Now

All software eventually hardens.  It is time for an upgrade.  Time to loosen up.  Old-school puritanical, stoic, self-rejecting perfectionism is so last millennium.   Reality-denying perfectionism is hopelessly outdated mindware that costs you existentially everything and gives you nothing attainable.  It is time for an upgrade to acceptance-based perfectionism that would allow you to improve reality without rejecting it and to experience perfection without being perfectionistic.

Here's a curriculum I'd propose for such a rehab to leverage existentially vibrant living:

(1)   the habit of making one’s own meaning,

(2)   the habit of noticing ordinary perfection,

(3)   the habit of being present in the moment,

(4)   the habit of making conscious choices,

(5)   the habit of self-acceptance,

(6)   the habit of accepting uncertainty,

(7)   the habit of forgiving and compassion.

As I see it, these seven vital signs of conscious, meaningful and mindful living are the essential goals of the would-be program of existential rehabilitation.  I believe that developing these habits would help you feel freer and more alive, more at ease and psychologically invulnerable, more attuned to yourself and more connected with others, and, most importantly, less preoccupied with what should be and more in awe of what already is.

Open your mind to open up your own existential rehab!

As a perfectionist, you have been living a life of abstraction, in a never-ceasing comparison of the real and the ideal, tragically oblivious to the rather concrete and undeniable fact that you are, have been and always will be doing your very practical best; that you are, have been and always will be (as long as you are alive) perfectly imperfect. 

As a perfectionist, you’ve taken your cultural definition of perfection (as something-unattainable-yet-somehow-worthy-of-pursuit) and you have tried to live off this nonsense with the best of your patience.  I am sorry: you’ve spent your life faithfully fighting on the side of the Absurd against the non-existent enemy of the Abstract.

What do I possibly mean by these enigmatic proclamations?!  Only one thing-less thing - (Ludwig Wittgenstein said it well) - "the world is all that is the case." The rest is the war of abstractions.

Peace.

Perfectionism is a Psychological Liability

Flett and Hewitt (2002) write: “perfectionists are more likely than nonperfectionists to experience various kinds of stress” (p. 257) and list four perfectionism-specific mechanisms that contribute to and exacerbate stress:

• Perfectionists generate stress by pursing unrealistic goals (stress generation mechanism).
• Because of their future time perspective, they anticipate future with worry and anxiety (stress anticipation mechanism).
• Perfectionists perpetuate stress by coping with stress in such maladaptive ways as rumination or re-doubling of the effort to avoid mistakes and prevent failures (stress perpetuation mechanism).
• And, finally, due to their cognitively-distorted perfectionistic appraisal strategies, they enhance stress by overgeneralizing, catastrophizing, and dichotomizing (stress enhancement mechanism).

Brown and Beck (2002) make a convincing summary of how a perfectionistic cognitive style with its rigid thinking constitutes a vulnerability to depression.

Perfectionists and compulsives are a tormented, unhappy lot.  William Reich referred to compulsives as “living machines,” highly productive but not enjoying what they produce (Maxment & Ward, 1995), typically presenting with symptoms of anxiety, worry, depression, and dysthymia.

One of the goals of existential self-rehabilitation is to redefine perfection in a manner that would allow you to leverage an unconditional self-acceptance and to become invulnerable to others’ disapproval of you.  Furthermore, an effective existential rehab would help you become more accepting of uncertainty in order to reduce your anxiety about the aspects of your life that you cannot control.  Your ultimate challenge is to shift from dichotomous, black-and-white dualistic self-perception (that predisposes you to depression and anxiety) to an emotionally-wiser and reality-congruent platform of nondual and dialectical thinking.

Perfectionism is a Relational Liability

Many a perfectionist is encouraged into therapy by family members and supervisors to address the problem of anger and hypercriticism.  As such, if unaddressed, perfectionism is a relational liability that leads to social alienation, loneliness, missed social and professional opportunities.  Effective existential rehab will help you realize that you are, have been, and always will be “perfectly imperfect,” which, in turn, will allow you to compassionately identify with others and accept them as they are.  In other words, once you understand that you are always doing the best that you can at any given point in time you will be perfectly positioned to see that it is also true of others.

Self-acceptance paves the way for compassion.  Another goal of existential self-rehab is to re-calibrate your expectations of others to more closely match the reality of this “perfectly imperfect” world, with the overall goal of reducing your sense of disappointment and frustration.

Perfectionism is a Productivity Liability

As a perfectionist, you are likely to be preoccupied with productivity, and, therefore, concerned with how an existential self-rehab might interfere with your work ethic and work standards.  There is nothing to worry about.  An effective existential self-rehab offers you an opportunity to learn to augment your productivity by reducing your preoccupation with the outcome and shifting your attention to maximizing your efforts.  By learning about how to free your awareness from outcome preoccupation, you will have an opportunity to practice “finding the flow” (Czikszentmihalyi, 1997) in order to facilitate experientially-peak performance.  Also, an existential self-rehab offers you tools to loosen up the rigidity of your perfectionistic thinking and unblock your creativity by cultivating choice awareness and reducing mindlessness, and thus possibly enhance your productivity and market value.

Perfectionism is an Existential Liability

Let’s face it: for some, perfectionism is an answer to existential vacuum.  Berg (1961), in writing about the historical origin of neurotic compulsions, suggested that in the progressively unstructured society, an individual no longer has the benefit of the social exoskeleton (social structure) to guide his or her behavior, and is, thus, forced to structure one’s own behavior.  As such, achievement-oriented, compulsive perfectionism might be conceptualized as an attempt to find meaning in pursuing perfection.  Perfectionism, in a manner of speaking, is a worship of outcomes.

Mindfulness-based self-rehab offers you a fix of perfection; it allows you an opportunity to appreciate the ordinary perfection that surrounds you in day-to-day life and, as such, becomes one viable solution to the gnawing problem of the existential vacuum.  Furthermore, the emphasis on the here-and-now presence is an opportunity for you to yank your perfectionistically avoidant “ostrich” mind from the ruminative quicksand of the past that is already gone and from the future that isn’t yet, and to plug back into the “matrix” of what still is.

Perfectionism is a Spiritual Liability

The run-away ethics of perfectionistic moralizing can lead to a spiritual impasse.  Perfectionistic rigidity gets in the way of forgiving.  Effective existential self-rehab is an opportunity to re-infuse the morality of forgiveness into the unsolicited attempts to save the world.  Existential self-rehab employs an understanding of dialectics which allows a perfectionistic mind to finally zoom out from its dogmatic comfort zone to a more complex, more panoramic worldview that can compassionately accommodate the subtleties and nuances of this ever bewildering and ever changing reality of ours.  The goal is to replace perfectionistically-narrow one-angle point of view with a whole spectrum of view which would ultimately allow you to compassionate coexist with the often-paradoxical ebb-and-flow of the world at large.

Related Article:  Existential Rehab

Non-perfectionists frequently misunderstand perfectionists as being obsessed with perfection.  The very term “perfectionist” implies an obsession with perfection, an obsessive pursuit of perfection.  But, strangely, it is not so!  Perfectionism, more often than not, isn’t about the pursuit of perfection per se but about the psychological, relational and existential dividends of being perfect.

It helps to understand the words involved. According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, the verb “to obsess” literally means “to besiege” from the Latin verb “obsidere” which in its turn means “to sit opposite to” or “to sit opposite of”.  Originally, the word obsession meant “an act of besieging” and referred to a military maneuver in which an occupying army surrounds and besieges an enemy city.  The army that besieges a town of interest doesn’t just camp around for the heck of it.  Soldiers don’t just sit “opposite of” the enemy fortress in some kind of militaristic zazen.  No, the army obsessively "sits" around a point of military interest because it is interested in gaining control over it.

Same with perfectionists: perfectionists don’t just obsess over perfection for the lofty goal of it (I wish they would, that would be psychologically healthier, that would be what I call "primary" or "aesthetic" perfectionism, I'll explain that in a separate post).  No, more often than not  perfectionism, for perfectionists, is just a means to an end.

The garden-variety neurotic perfectionism, for example, is a “striving for excessively high standards due to fears of failure and concerns about disappointing others” (Flett & Hewitt, 2002, p. 14).  Therefore, the object of the neurotic-perfectionist’s obsession is not perfection per se but the approval and the relational security that comes with being perfect.

In other words, a perfectionist’s pursuit of perfection is a compulsion, not an obsession, a means to an end, not an end in and of itself. That's why behind the clinical scenes perfectionists are called "compulsives" rather than "obsessives."

Perfectionism as Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder

While perfectionism is not, per se, a diagnostic category, it is an essential feature of the so-called Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD,  not to be confused with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, OCD).  OCPD is usually defined as “preoccupation with perfectionism, mental and interpersonal control, and orderliness at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency” (Pfohl & Blum, 1991).

More specifically, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) is associated with such traits as preoccupation with details, excessive devotion to work and productivity at the expense of leisure, excessive conscientiousness, scrupulousness, inflexibility and rigidity in the issues of morality and ethics, hoarding or difficulty discarding worn-out objects that have no sentimental value, reluctance to delegate tasks or to relinquish control or to submit to someone else’s standards, thriftiness (DSM-IV, 1994).   OCPD sounds a bit like OCD but it's not.

Perfectionism: OCPD, not OCD

As a perfectionist, you are likely to have been not only misunderstood but also misdiagnosed as having Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.  Don’t worry:  while you might “test positive” for some OCD traits, the chances are you don’t have it.  To make sense of the difference between Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, let’s take a moment to examine the distinction between obsessions and compulsions.

Obsession Isn't Compulsion

An obsession is a mental preoccupation, a recurrent thought.  A compulsion is a course of action we take in order to reduce our obsessive preoccupation.

Not All Obsessions Are Created Equal

Obsessions can be desirable (or, in Freudian terms, ego-syntonic, i.e. pleasant to one’s ego) or undesirable (ego-dystonic, i.e. unpleasant to one’s ego).

An individual with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder experiences ego-dystonic (i.e. unpleasant, intrusive, undesirable) obsessions that cause great anxiety and relies on repetitive behavioral compulsions to reduce the anxiety.

A person with an Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, on the other hand, is obsessed with doing the right thing and avoiding mistakes.  Such a person experiences their obsession with being “right” and doing the “right” thing not as an intrusive thought but as a freely-chosen philosophy of living.

Therefore a person with OCPD, i.e. a perfectionist, experiences his obsession as desirable and ego-friendly (or ego-syntonic).  Such a person fervently believes in the righteousness of his or her standards and compulsively pursues these standards through their actions.

In sum, it could be then said that while individuals with OCD and OCPD are similarly compulsive in addressing their obsessions, they differ in the vector of their obsessions.

The individuals with OCD don’t want their obsessions, while OCPD perfectionists swear by them.

What's Eating You, Perfectionist?

Ask yourself:

What's eating me?  What am I hungering for?

What am I chasing: perfection, approval, certainty, validation?

Ask yourself: Why am I seeking all this?  How am I incomplete without it all?  What’s amiss?  Do I really need what I’m chasing, or do I just want it?  What will approval prove?  What will validation validate?  What will certainty protect me from?

Ask yourself:

Whose stamp of approval am I striving for and why?  Whose pat on my back has the power of the Midas touch that makes me feel golden, valuable, worthwhile?  Whose opinion of me do I worship, seek out, cater to?  Who has the power and wisdom to reassure me of all my fears and insecurities?  Whose validation, attention, and acknowledgment do I need in order to feel visible and justified in my existence?  Then ask yourself:  Who promoted this person/these people to this special status?  How did they earn such clout, such influence in my life?

Ask:

How have I gotten by all these years without that I’m still chasing?

Ponder what's eating you and learn how to feed your perfectionistic hunger from within.

Oriental (adjective): from Latin word orientalis "of the east."

Occidental (adjective): from Latin word occidentalis "western."

Now, on with the essay...

OCPD - an Occidental Personality Disorder?

While perfectionism is not, per se, a diagnostic category, it is an essential feature of the so-called Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD, not to be confused with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, OCD).  OCPD is usually defined as “preoccupation with perfectionism, mental and interpersonal control, and orderliness at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency” (Pfohl & Blum, 1991).

Given the fact that perfectionism, the central feature of OCPD, seems "endemic" in the West, should we then, perhaps, rethink perfectionism as a strictly Western/Occidental issue?  Should we view OCPD as Occidental Compulsive Personality Disorder?

All Cultures Program Minds

While Occidental (i.e. Western) societies have been traditionally depicted as cultivating perfectionistic aspirations, the Orient (the East/Asia) has not been spared its own share of perfectionism.

Cziksentmihalyi (1998), in referencing William James’ famous formula of self-esteem as being a ratio of expectations to success, notes that Asian-American students “who get excellent grades tend to have lower self-esteem than other minorities who are academically less successful, because proportionately their goals are set even higher than their success” (p. 24).

This Asian brand of perfectionism can be likely traced to some of the postulates of Confucianism that is a major cultural influence in China and such Chinese-influenced societies as Korea, Japan, Vietnam, Hong Kong, Singapore, and Taiwan (Kim, 2007).

The Confucian emphasis on education and hierarchical propriety can serve as an easy platform for perfectionistic self-abuse.  Kim (2007, p. 30) writes that the “enthusiasm for education” may lead to such negative consequences as “extreme competition for acceptance into prestigious universities that result in many psychological and emotional problems including high levels of stress, anxiety, depression, cigarette smoking for relief, and sometimes suicide” as well as to devaluation of play in favor of hard work and to a reduction in “creative potential.”

These ultra-Confucian traits and characteristics are diagnostically reminiscent of the perfectionism of the obsessive compulsive personality disorder with its overconscientiousness and cognitive-behavioral rigidity.

Therefore, a person reared in a perfectionistic society might be seen (by the standards of such society) as entirely psychologically healthy, but when taken out of his or her cultural context, may present as being compulsively perfectionistic.  With these cultural differences in mind, it is important to always consider the extent to which one’s perfectionism is normative in the context of the native culture.

In sum, culturally-distributed perfectionism, just like the privately-distributed perfectionism (that stems from family dynamics) is ultimately a matter of psychological “software” (or, as I like to call it, "mindware") and can be “re-programmed."

Update Your Mindware

One thing is clear: whichever brand of perfectionism you have (oriental or occidental), you got it by accident.  Indeed, you didn’t choose the culture you were born into.  Whether you were born into a macro-culture of perfectionism or merely thrown into a dysfunctional family microcosm that required you to be perfect to survive, your perfectionistic personality style is an accident.  Correct it.

Jiddu Krishnamurti

Somewhere on a continuum between normality and pathology there is a point at which an otherwise culturally normal behavior acquires a problematic degree.

In other words, there is a point at which the given behavior results in functional impairment.  The difficulty of establishing whether your particular perfectionism has met the diagnostic threshold of pathology has to do with the specific cultural norms of the society in which you reside and function.  

You see, some societies are more culturally perfectionistic than others.   For example, it has been frequently observed that so-called “developed societies” tend to emphasize “efficiency, punctuality, a willingness to work hard, and orientation to detail,” i.e. the very traits that accompany compulsive perfectionism (Millon et al., 2000, p. 174).

With the cultural considerations in mind, it could be said that the actual threshold of pathology for perfectionism is culture-specific.

Neurosis or Sociosis?

Sociosis is a form of cultural neurosis (J. H. Van den Berg, 1961).   Flett & Hewitt (2002) have observed that perfectionism is “endemic” to the Western culture. With this in mind, it would be logical to pose a question of whether perfectionism is a reflection of a given person’s emotional health or of the values of a given culture.  Restated, the question is whether perfectionism is a matter of a person’s psychological health or is it just a matter of psycho-social software?

Perfectionism can be thought of culturally-normative, as an adaptive reflection of the extent to which a given culture emphasizes the pursuit of perfection.  A cultural perfectionist is simply trying to play by the rules of the given society that he or she is in, in order to succeed.

Perfectionist's Dilemma

So, here's a perfect dilemma:  do you, as a perfectionist, keep your cultural software intact to assure that you keep on achieving the culturally-defined success, or do you modify this cultural software of perfectionism to leverage a greater sense of well-being and possibly risk under-achieving by the standards of your culture?

In other words: is being adaptive to a "profoundly sick society" well-adjusted or psychologically unhealthy?

Not an enviable dilemma, but, nevertheless, your dilemma to resolve…